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Red Hat Lynx Newsletter |
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Issue # 26
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Happy Holidays
PAGE #1
About Me:
In my
last newsletter, I ended the “About Me” section by stating, “Hopefully, when all the test results come in, I will have professional
advice on how to turn some of these complaints around. I don’t need a Doctor to tell me that the
excess weight I carry plays a major role in how I feel. So, by the next time that it’s my turn to
write this newsletter, I plan to be a slimmer, healthier, more upbeat “ME”.”
Since writing
last, many things have changed in my life.
I definitely am more upbeat and a few pounds (not enough) slimmer. After seeing numerous doctors over the last
several months we have decided that the best route for me to follow is to have
bariatric surgery. I will be undergoing
a bypass sometime in January. Hopefully,
this will resolve many of the issues that have been plaguing me.
I don’t know how
you all feel about my remaining in this group, as my weight loss and struggles
will be much different than yours. I would like to remain, but if any of you
object, I will have no hard feelings.
Please let me know honestly, your thoughts on this.
PAGE #2
Women’s Health:
I thought I would
share with you the steps I have begun taking to prepare for the upcoming
surgery. These steps can help anyone
following a weight loss program.
·
My
surgeon and sleep doctor both believe that I am an insomniac and also have sleep
apnea. If so, I have had this condition
for about thirty years. I just underwent
a sleep study but will not have the results for another week. They believe my weight problem began many
years ago when I developed these sleep issues.
I was flabbergasted. The surgeon
explained that someone who gets as little sleep as I do and doesn’t nap during
the day has to eat more just to have the energy to stay awake and
function. After he explained it to me,
it made sense. So all of you should get
a full night’s sleep, every night.
·
I
have met with a nutritionist and have to do the following:
1.
Eat
three meals and two snacks per day. Each
of these should include protein, INCLUDING snacks. This was a surprise to me.
2.
Take tiny
bites and chew each mouthful 15-20 times.
Harder than it sounds.
3.
Eat
from a smaller plate.
4.
Put
your fork down between mouthfuls.
5.
Drink
6-8 glasses of water each day.
6.
Eliminate
all soda and pop.
7.
Only
one cup of caffeinated coffee per day.
When I complained about that one, she suggested mixing 1 pound regular
and one pound caffeinated coffee together.
This would allow me to have two cups per day. I have begun doing this and don’t even notice
the difference. Unlimited decaffeinated
drinks are allowed.
8.
Increase
exercise daily, even if it’s just an extra flight of stairs. The object is to continue to increase the
effort.
9.
Be
sure to take calcium supplements, daily.
PAGE #3
Laughs:
·
ABOUT DRINKING WATER 
The
following will probably amaze and startle you..
One glass of water
shuts down
Lack of water is the #1
trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease
back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger
fuzzy short term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on
the computer screen.
Drinking five glasses of water daily decreases
the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by
79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking enough water?
Be careful of the one side
effect!!!!!!!!!!
Tsk! Tsk! She forgot her Red Hat
·
Santa
Goes On Atkins Diet
November 2007 Issue of the Candy Cane
Times
North Pole: Santa Claus
announced today in his annual pre-holiday press conference that he has begun
the popular Atkins diet, and is asking for help from families around the globe.
Atkins dieters are allowed to consume large amounts of high-fat foods such as
eggs, beef, and cheese. Carbohydrates, which are found in pasta, breads, and
fruits, and sweets, are not allowed.
Mr. Claus said that he decided to start the diet after he could not fit into
the trousers he wore to deliver gifts last year.
"I couldn't bring myself to buy new trousers, and I haven't had a good
body image lately. I had to do something, and quick",
said Claus. "Having a belly like a bowl full of jelly is one thing, but
being a complete fat ass is another. I mean, even my jolly little toe has fat
on it." According to inside sources, Mrs. Claus may have also played a
part in his decision to lose weight.
An elf, who wished to remain anonymous, said that Mrs. Claus "is getting
more and more involved" with day-to-day operations, especially as
Christmas nears. "She pretty much runs the toy factory, and she is making
all the elves work a lot of overtime. Plus, she made us all sign waivers saying
we wouldn't sue if we got injured on the job. Now, Santa suddenly goes on the
Atkins diet? I guarantee that is her doing. She's a real pain in the ass. We've
all started calling her 'Yoko'".
Santa says that his goal is to lose twenty pounds before he delivers gifts on
Christmas Eve, leaving him plump, but not grossly obese. And, says Claus, he
needs everyone's help to stick to his diet.
"I am asking the families of the world to leave snacks for me that are low
in carbohydrates. Unfortunately, this means that the traditional snack of
cookies and milk is not acceptable. Good alternatives are scrambled eggs,
cheese, beef, or chicken."
Experts agree that a thinner Claus may be a healthier Claus, but think that the
new snack requests may spoil some of the fun and tradition of Christmas.
"I think it's great that Santa wants to lose a few pounds", says
holiday expert Michelle Bosler. "But a great
Christmas tradition is being altered. Leaving cookies and milk for Santa Claus
dates back hundreds of years. I don't think families will enjoy scrambling eggs
or broiling a T-bone for Santa quite as much. And these low carbohydrate snacks
are much more expensive than a couple of store bought cookies."
Despite the criticism, Claus vows to stick to his Atkins diet. "I'm going
to do this. I've tried other diets, and I just can't stick to them. I mean,
have you ever had a SlimFast shake? Tastes like
liquefied wood."
North Pole spokesperson Sandy Ashton said that if families are uncomfortable leaving
eggs or meat as a snack, they could opt to leave no snack at all.
"We'd rather Santa not have a snack than eat foods that are high in
carbohydrates. For families who don't wish to leave a low-carb
snack, we ask that they leave a note of encouragement for Santa, or some
bourbon, which is a low-carbohydrate beverage. Dieting is difficult, and he
needs support if he is going to succeed."
·
Edible, adj.:
Good to eat, and
wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig,
a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ~Ambrose Bierce
PAGE #4
Recipes:
Healthy recipes
to help you keep off the pounds during this busy, fattening holiday season!
Enjoy the tastes of Christmas without all the fat and calories!
·
Cranberry Cream Cheese
Ingredients:
1/2 pound reduced-calorie cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 pint part-skim ricotta cheese
2 teaspoons mild-tasting honey, such as clove
1/3 cup cranberry chutney
Directions:
In a food processor or blender, puree cream cheese, riccota
and honey until very smooth.
Spoon into serving bowl.
Cover and refrigerate at least one hour or up to 12 hours. Before serving,
spoon chutney over cream cheese mixture.
Recipe makes 12 to 16 servings.
·
Christmas Fruit Platter
Ingredients:
2-1/4 cups fresh or frozen raspberries, rinsed or partially thawed, if frozen
2 tablespoons orange liqueur or fresh orange juice
1 3-pound fresh pineapple, peeled, cored, quartered lengthwise and cut
crosswise into thin slices
2 navel oranges, peeled and sliced crosswise into thin slices
6 kiwi fruit, peeled and thinly sliced
Directions:
In a food process or blender, combine raspberries and orange liqueur. Puree
until smooth. Cover and chill until ready to serve.
On a large platter, overlap slices of each fruit, starting with pineapple at
each end of the platter and orange slices down the middle. Fill in the
remaining area with kiwi slices. Cover and chill until ready to serve.
To serve, drizzle raspberry sauce over fruit.
·
Zucchini Appetizer Sticks
Ingredients:
2 medium zucchini, ends removed
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup fine, dry seasoned bread crumbs
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Original Blend Mrs. Dash
Directions:
Cut zucchini into French fry-sized pieces and coat with egg.
Mix crumbs, Parmesan cheese, garlic powder and Mrs. Dash in a 9 x 13-inch
plastic food bag.
Drop a handful of zucchini pieces into crumb mixture and shake to coat.
Place on 2 large cookie sheets sprayed with nonstick spray. Do not overlap
pieces.
Continue coating small batches of zucchini with crumb mixture until all are
coated.
Bake in a preheated 450 degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until coating is
browned and zucchini pieces are tender.
Recipe makes four servings.
·
And finally, a Recipe for Christmas Joy
Ingredients:
1/2 cup Hugs
4 teaspoons Kisses
4 cups Love
1 cup Special Holiday Cheer
3 teaspoons Christmas Spirits
2 cups Goodwill Toward Man
1 Sprig of Mistletoe
1 medium-size bag of Christmas Snowflakes (the regular kind won't do!)
Directions:
Mix hugs, kisses, smiles and love until consistent.
Blend in holiday cheer, peace on earth, Christmas spirit and good will toward
men.
Use the mixture to fill a large, warm heart, where it can be stored for a
lifetime, (it never goes bad!).
Serve as desired under mistletoe, sprinkled liberally with special Christmas
Snowflakes.
It is especially good when accompanied by Christmas Carols and family
get-togethers.
Serve to one and all -- and have a very, Merry Christmas!
Thought of the Day:
We are all
dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance
goes to waste and loss of energy. ~William Osler
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Merry Christmas and Joyous Holidays to All of You